Following the brief trip in the new camper, I was completely inundated with work and then on my annual vacation for a couple of weeks. I missed my crazy kittons so very much while gone, but I also, almost forgot that most weeks out of the year that I live in a total zoo.
"Almost" forgot because occasionally there is a phone call that really serves as a good reminder of what Savannah life is like.
My vacation is always at a large medieval reenactment. At these events there are many varieties of activities from battles, to medieval dances, to feasts, to opportunities to learn new arts. There are also different things that happen that sort of bring bits of medieval life to our modern world. These involve things like royal courts or ceremonies. As it happened, I was at once of those more solemn events when the tale I am about to share took place.
This specific affair is based on a medieval knighting tradition. It was fairly late at night (around 10pm) and I was in a beautifully decorated medieval encampment, surrounding by people in fabulous medieval clothing, waiting for my turn to speak to someone who would soon be knighted. While waiting, the current Princess of the group, was discussing other important matters with me when my phone (set to vibrate and hidden away in my pouch) exploded with messages.
Text. Text. Call. Call.
Fearing that there was a family health emergency (my brother was in the hospital at that moment), I begged pardon from her Highness and looked at my phone. It was my boyfriend (who also, incidentally, is a Knight in this organization, and I thought he would have an idea of where I was and what I was doing at that moment and know what was going on even though he was not at the event). I answered it, desperately worried there was something wrong with one of the cats.
Him: Didn't you get my text????
Me: No, I am at a vigil. What is going on??
Him: MALIK HAS A BAT!
Me (thinking): I am 5.5 hours away, what am I supposed to do about this???
Him: Malik has a bat in his mouth and he won't let me have it and he is growling and won't let me near him.
(I find out later that apparently the spotted terror was running around with the body of the bat in his mouth, with wings hanging out the sides, like some sort of goofy cartoon.)
Me (thinking): Of course he won't let you have it. He is very proud of his kill!
Him: $&@#*#%$!!!! He is growling and took a swing at me. THE BAT IS GOING TO BITE HIM.
Me: There is a steak on the top shelf of the fridge. Give him some of that in exchange for the bat.
(At some point I hear the phone being set to speaker and laid down. I hear the fridge open and I swear I heard a flop noise... did he totally just throw a whole steak at the cat???)
Him: $&@#*#%$!!!! HE IS CHEWING THE STEAK WITH THE BAT STILL IN HIS FACE.
(Yes, this is the part where I am laughing so hard I am crying.)
Him: I need a container in case I get this bat. Where the hell are containers?
Me (thinking): Same place they always are. (Though I did provide directions to the containers, while trying not to laugh out loud.)
Him: $&@#*#%$!!!! I have to go. (He then hung up on me)
(At this point I was sort of sitting there mystified, and was still wondering what exactly I was supposed to do about the whole thing. Ten minutes later though, the phone rang again, so I stepped to the side to take the call.)
Him (out of breath): I have the bat.
Me: Fantastic! How did you get it?
Him: Malik crunched down and it stopped moving and he lost interest and let me have it.
(I learned later that somehow him getting the bat from Malik also involved duel wielding tongs and part of my loom????!!!!!)
Him: So I have the bat and I called Animal Control and they dont want it.
(A few years ago, Nimar caught a bat in the house and it was during a bad rabies year so Animal Control came to the house within 5 minutes to claim said bat for testing.)
Him: They said if all the cats are vaccinated, to just get rid of it.
Him: So the bat is in the refrigerator.
(Wait, WHAT? Why the HELL is there a bat in my refrigerator!!!??? How does this even happen???)
Him: I am stressed out and tired and have to go.
So now I was sitting there wondering why on earth was there a bat in the fridge. Was it even in a container? WHY WAS THERE A BAT IN THE FRIDGE???
Apparently there was some logic to that, but I still cannot fathom what it was.
And guess what? The next night when I was messaging him about how great the dinner he had prepared for our camp and sent up with me was, he messaged me back that he was glad that we all liked it and BTW, the BAT WAS STILL IN THE REFRIGERATOR. And Malik knew it was there. AND OMG, apparently I can never, ever leave my kittons unattended again!
As much as I love my vacation, I totally missed these crazy characters. Malik grew so much in just a few weeks. Look at those legs!!! And of course, they were all so happy when I got home. They missed the mama snuggles.
(And, just to note that I started to type this up a few nights ago, and while doing so, Layla strolled right by me with an entire bunch of bananas in her mouth. So yes, I do, in fact, live in a zoo. But I would not have it any other way!)
Savannah Caretaker who is honored to do the job.